remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
