im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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