I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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