Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
