you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
