FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
