I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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