I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
