i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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