who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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