this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
