so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
