There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
