I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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