yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
