i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
