She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
