I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
