don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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