maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
