i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
