I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
