There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
