just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
