Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
