So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
