actually, I'm a sock model
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
