I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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