So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
