Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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