This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
