we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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