I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
