let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
