I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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