yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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