All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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