discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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