I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
