So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
