should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
