Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
