I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
