what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
