My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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