Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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