He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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