You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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