So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize