Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
