put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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