You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
COCAINE IS GR8
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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