sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
