if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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