I'm really into asian looking animals
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
