You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
