Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
