Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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