her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i will never coherently bang her
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
