i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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