Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
