So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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