Ambien. No doubt about it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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