the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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