This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
