my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
