well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
