u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
