Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
