I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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