doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
