i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize