im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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